Words that change you...

Ok so a few months ago I joined the world of blogging because sometimes I have so much to say and not enough patient ears to listen to me, not enough time in the day to express how I feel, or just not the right words or timing to express how I am feeling.... I don't blog too often probably because LIFE just keeps going and between being a full time working mom and other things I am involved in and things I would like to be involved in there just does not seem to be enough time to sit down and get out all my thoughts. BUT there are days like today where I just feel the urge and I start to share. So my sharing today is about all the wonderfully emotional, life altering, kind, sweet and loving blogger friends that I have that also blog! I have two in particular that I read tonight through tears....that just touched me. How amazing is it that your thoughts, pain, love, and typed words can touch someone so far away physically but so close to your heart. I sometimes read my friends blogs and think, WOW, I have not been through enough pain or life circumstances to complain about anything or to blog about the simplicities of my life but then.... Tonight we went to our tax lady to do our 2011 taxes and the first thing she asked us was "How was your year?" This poor woman had no idea that Jesse and I had a horrendous life changing and yet God filled year. But we answered her honestly by saying the truth. Usually when people ask you those kind of questions they don't really want to hear the truth but I felt a peace about speaking the truth. IT WAS A TOUGH YEAR!!!!! .....I wouldn't be where I am today in my walk with the Lord if it wasn't for the past year that I endured with his strength. Many of the terrible things that happened last year I won't speak about publicly but a few pieces of the tough stuff includes the tragic death of a dear cousin, putting my daughter through hell by no choice of my own (as no parent would want to chose for their child) and then the death of my father-in-law (which was a huge bag of emotional turmoil in itself!!!) However, I was able to find the Lord in all of it and to be completely truthful it took me awhile to find him in all of it. So now is the next step in our adventure of life that I shared with my fellow bloggers late last year...we are in the process of becoming foster parents to adopt. I am crazy right? I always said "That is why I am the caseworker and you are the foster parent" to my foster parents that I worked with. I NEVER thought I would be able to do their job! I was just good at my job! HA, yeah that was God chuckling to himself saying, just wait Tonya I am giving you skills for things you don't know are to come!!! My favorite verse Jeremiah 29:11-12 "For I know what I have planned for you, says the Lord. I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers." God's plan is bigger then we can imagine and I am slowly learning to trust that! So now I need to trust that no matter how scared I am about what he is going to do in my life that he will be there to walk me through it! Easier said then done but I am going to try my best. TRUST, TRUST, TRUST.....I am going to keep repeating that to myself every time my heart skips a beat because I am scared!