My first blog

I have followed numerous friends' blogs and thought it was neat how they could write so well what their thoughts and feelings were.  I have never thought of myself as a writer, which is ironic b/c most of what I do at my job is writing!
But I have had so many things going on in my life lately, that I feel like my thoughts are spinning and I can't always talk about all of them to everyone. Which, I know what you are thinking is surprising to you because that is what I do...I talk to everyone about what I am thinking. But just imagine if you can that there is more in my head then what comes out of my mouth! SHOCKING, I know right!  I have struggled in the past and am struggling right now with those spinning thoughts...and then I wondered...should I blog to help me get out what is in my mind?   So here I am trying it.  We will see what happens from here. 

I had a dream last night...a nice peaceful one that made me feel good when I woke up this morning. Which is unusual right now because most of my dreams have been full of turmoil, anger, frustration, and confrontation.  But last night I had a dream that my dear sweet cousin came back to our world from heaven to set things straight. To explain to her family what went wrong. I remember knowing that she was only here with us on earth for a short time before she went back to heaven. (similar to Jesus rising again!) I remember talking to her and apologizing that I was not very close to her as a cousin but that she was dear to me. (As most of my cousins are dear to me in one way or another. ) But she reassured me that she knew I cared. I also asked if she was able to see her family and talk to them and again she reassured me that she had.  Unfortunately, I don't remember more specifics about my talk with her, all I remember is I felt at peace after I talked to her. As dreams are strange sometimes...it ended with her driving off in a sporty little car with her hair blowing in the wind and me smiling at her and feeling like all was well.

Does this dream help take all the hurt away with the loss of my cousin or the other losses and trials I am dealing with in life right now, of course not. But it did give me hope.   Hope that even though right now I don't feel like moving on with life, even though life around me is moving on, I will eventually move on and slowly heal. God will be with me every step of the way bringing me hope and reassurance. His love given to me through my wonderful family and friends that mean so much to me. 

Thank you Lord for continuing to show me hope in these difficult times and giving me the family and friends I need to show me your love and hope.


Well for my first blog...I already feel a little bit better!   I might do this more often then I thought! :)